I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Oh man oh man that dream. My heart beating all fast just like it used to. That’s not fair. To have those kinds of dreams about you. Again. They make me feel crazy. Like what if I just did that really. What if I just went up to you and kissed you and said fuck everything. Oh man. I hate the dreams that I feel so deeply. Always the dreams about you. But i know this isn’t my one of my special dreams. This isn’t one of the ones that comes true. This is just me. And my pathetic heart.
This is pathetic.
That’s not the first time you’ve said those things. And now. And now. Its just funny.
People are fickle. Indecisive. Humans can’t focus.
Fuck. I can’t even focus. But. Love. My love for you. That was the one thing.
The one thing that could completely hold my attention. Still does.
Then again. Maybe we’re all just in love with being in love.
There’s a land called Passive Aggressiva and I am their queen.
Do you want to hang out?
All I want to do is ask you this question
Maybe show up at your door
Wrap my arms around you
Shout in your ear
How much I’ve missed seeing you
It’s pointless though
I don’t want to spend time with you
At least not the you that you’ve become
It’s pathetic by comparison
What I’m missing is a memory
Back when you felt real
A one of the kind type of find
But now your just like all the swag kids
Turned into a fucking decepticon
I miss my nerdfighter
{Spent four hours at the park with Arlette today, reclaiming childhoods we never had.
Then four hours being a couch potato with the white boy ahaha.
4oclock
And I can still feel myself twitch every so often. And my sense of knowing where my body parts are feels off. And the time still feels wrong.
Gravity. I feel you pulling me down tiny atom bits at a time. Even pulling down my thoughts and memory
Bernie
It’s getting more intense. Like I feel these shock waves off my body and my toes are twitching and it’s energy rushing through my body. And I think this is what an orgasm feels like ahahshha or maybe this is what it feels like to go to nirvana. And I feel like I need to pee. And I’m genuinely worried that if I dont keep moving and thinking that I’m going to become paralyzed and as I’m writing it feels like I daydreamed your response and I’m like why am I writing this and then a string of thoughts zooms by reminding what’s happenslss
And oh my god I can hear all my bones moving. I don’t want to post this but yeah
